As I submerged myself in a bath, the water forming a silvery mask around my face, I realized how like childhood it really is. The warm liquid forms a protective covering around me, warmth and comfort seeping from the situation but you can only stay that way for a short time. It starts to suffocate you; all the padding keeping you blissfully unaware of reality prevents you from breathing. Your throat dies to voice its concern so you break gasping for individualism and respect from what you knew. Breathing in the air almost hurts as much as not breathing at all but you put it down to experience. The world baptizes you with the absence of water instead of the other way round and as you blink the water from your eyes suddenly everything is bright and lit and new. The water still clings to you desperate to keep you in its caring hold but suddenly all that you can contemplate in your open mind is the air and the light. Your goals shine almost as if lit by Vegas lights in your minds eye. What can you do but follow them? You rise from the water dripping and wet but you know where you want to go and nothing can stop you. It’s a turning point for childhood really. As you towel away the last remaining dregs of protection you emerge against the world raw and clean.
I decided that this would explain who I am best. If I had to choose where I was right now I would be toweling away the last grips of childhood ‘innocence’. This year will be pivotal for me as so many things will be going on. I may be clean and ready but I think this year mud is going to be thrown, the kind of mud that no amount of water will wash away. For the first time I actually have a relationship and so far its working but it would be uncharacteristically naïve of me to think it will all be happy sailing. School will suddenly be the most important priority and my ambition is so chronic that perfection will become a must. I don’t think I am ready because I know I haven’t managed to dry off completely so to speak. This blog is dedicated to my progress throughout the year, my thoughts, my failures and my success(if any). This year will be a sort of progression on the road to self discovery and some arrogant part of me wants to share it with the public. So if I have even sparked a momentary interest please feel free to follow me on my journey. Perhaps it will be easier if I have company on the road.